Fandom
by waffleman1314-AJ ThaPlatypus
Summary: They're trapped in a reality that isn't their own. They're clueless as to who they really are. And there's only one who can fix everything. *Spoof of Once Upon a Time. More than 2-way crossover, I just can't state that with the story.*
1. Alex Storm

**Hi! It's me, AJ ThaPlatypus, again! I wish to start this out with a few notes. First and foremost, as I am unable to show this as more than just a two-way crossover, I have put the first two shows to have an obvious presence as the two on display. As I go, I will attribute the show once it becomes obvious it is involved (e.x., in the chapter, "X" character appears as himself/herself and/or is referenced directly by someone; I then attribute his/her fandom "X" in the A/N). Secondly, this is a spoof (sort of) of ****_Once Upon a Time_****. This is the disclaimer that OC's may be based off of OUAT characters, original characters may play the roles of OUAT characters, and plot may seem similar, but no OUAT characters/names will be used. (This is to curb the number of characters I have to keep track of). Ok! All of that is out of the way, so I now present to you: ****_Fandom_****. -AJ**

* * *

Tapping his fingers on the steering wheel, there was only one thought in Alex Storm's mind—the traffic. He was minutes from home, but the nine o'clock jam in Manhattan told him it would be a while. His fingers itched; the temptation to turn on his lights and make it seem like a normal police chase was difficult. Of course, he worked for the Federal Bureau of Investigation and knew that would ruin his reputation.

Every few minutes, the cars would speed up to the speed limit, but then they would all brake. It was ten before Alex finally saw what the holdup was all about. Some idiot had driven his car into a construction zone and had the nose of his cherry red Mustang in a rather large hole. Rolling his eyes, he laid one hand on the horn to urge the person in front of him on.

Once he arrived home, he slid out of the car, removed some cases and his coat, locked it, and then ran upstairs to his apartment. He unlocked the door with a brass key and closed himself in the silence of his small home. Tossing his things down in his office, he made his way into the kitchen and opened up the fridge. An unopened bottle of Dr. Pepper called out to him. He removed the drink, unscrewed the cap, and pressed the mouth to his lips. As the cold, carbonated beverage spilled into his mouth, the stress from his day washed away.

Alex closed the fridge and seated himself on his white leather couch. Reaching for the remote, he paused. No, he didn't want to watch the news. Or anything else for that matter. There was nothing on cable that would be of any interest to him. He instead picked a book up off of the table and searched for one dog-eared page. No, that didn't satisfy his interest either. Sighing, he took another gulp of Dr. Pepper and stared out of his window and over the Manhattan skyline.

"Another lonely night in the big city," he sighed.

He ran his fingers through his messy brown hair. His life was truly a blur. Alex was certain that he'd grown up in Australia and moved to America as a young boy before being orphaned, but it was hard to dig up the memories. It was as if something were messed up about his memories, starting at the age of six and going back. At six, he had woken up in the woods alone and had forgotten who he was…but that was a story he didn't want to remember just then.

Thinking back to the present; Alex was a twenty-eight year old white male with brown eyes and brow hair. He was only five foot three, which he considered too short for his own good. His black tee was tight against his muscular body, and his black pants were nearly without a crease. He liked fedoras, though it was hardly an appropriate hat to wear to work. It wasn't part of the uniform.

Sighing, he stared into the dancing bubbles of the Dr. Pepper and blinked. He'd been lonely for at least ten years. His last girlfriend had been when he was eighteen, and she'd run off with no reason. He'd tried everything to find her. She simply didn't want to be found.

A knock on his door pulled Alex from his thoughts. Frowning, he didn't move. No one ever called on him unless it was a workmate with an emergency. He eased himself off of the couch and walked over to the front door. Opening it, he looked around.

"Hello?" he asked.

"Hi."

Alex looked down to see a kid standing there. The kid looked up at him with a curious expression on his face. Looking around, Alex made sure to scan the perimeter for other children; he could be a prankster or he could have been dared to approach the solitary man in apartment six-hundred one.

"Look, I don't know what kind of a joke this is," Alex sighed, "but you'd better run home to your mum now."

"I don't have a mum," the kid said, rather matter-of-factly. He had a messy mop of brown, almost red hair, eyes that were a pale blue, and pale skin. Alex went to tell him once more to leave, but the kid plowed ahead. "Your name is Alex Storm, right?"

"Yes, but I don't believe I know you," Alex frowned. The kid simply marched into the apartment and tossed his bag on the couch. "I don't have time for this! Get out of my home and go to your own!"

"Okay, Alex," the kid said with a smile. He sat up on the couch and placed his elbows into the top like they were meant for such a use. "My name is Ethan. Ten years ago, my mom gave me up for adoption. She had her name and my father's name put down on the birth certificate, as is usual."

"I don't have time for this," Alex repeated.

"Hear me out!" Ethan placed to fingers in the air. "I can't find my mother, but I was able to track you down—you're my father."

"I don't have a son," Alex laughed a little. He opened his door a little wider and waved a hand. Ethan frowned. "I think I would know if I had a son."

"That's just it," Ethan said, as if things were perfectly clear. "Leah didn't tell you. My records stated that you were unaware that she was pregnant. I can show you if you like. But here's what's even more important that finding out you're my dad—you need to come back home with me."

"First, even if I am your biological father," Alex licked his lips, "what makes you think that when I take you home, I'm going to stay there? I live here. But I will take you home, _Ethan_. Where is home?"

"Fandom, Massachusetts," Ethan said quietly.

"Fandom," Alex breathed. The once place he never dreamed he'd be seeing again. He had last been there when he was six. He looked up at the kid. "Give me five minutes and then we're going."

* * *

It had taken nearly all night for Alex to drive Ethan back to Fandom, but he wasn't going to stop until this vagrant kid was home. Ethan had filled him in on the ride that he had traveled via buses and cabs to reach the Manhattan apartment. It also came up that he may have stolen his birth records from his foster father's office. It took every fiber of Alex's being not to inform the authorities at once.

"Why do you want me to stay in Fandom so badly?" Alex asked the kid.

"I'm not sure you'll believe me," Ethan said, staring out of the window curiously. Alex tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. The kid was testing his patience. "But here goes. Everyone in Fandom has been affected by an awful machine called the 'Change-It-For-My-Better-Inator.'"

"What?" Alex blinked.

"It was created in an alternate universe by an evil scientist," Ethan continued. "He used it to try and make himself the ruler of a city, and it worked. But the results were way different than he expected. Everyone in Fandom is from an alternate universe—his or others."

"Really?" Alex sniffed sarcastically. He noted the 'Welcome to Fandom' sign as he drove into the small city. The streets were eerily vacant. "Tell me what your address is."

"No," Ethan shook his head. Alex stopped the car. Ethan jumped out and sat on the road beside it. Biting his lip, Alex got out as well and came over beside the kid. "This is important! You have to stay here. Don't take me back home, please!"

"Why not, who is…who is your foster father in this alternate universe theory?" Alex asked him. If he couldn't get answers the normal way from this kid, he would have to play along with this silly game. He narrowed his eyes. "Well, go on, then."

"He's the evil scientist!" Ethan said, stressing the title as if it meant something to Alex. It didn't. "His name is Doctor Heinz Doofenshmirtz, and he's controlling everything. He got everyone stuck here, and they can't remember who they are. Even you!"

"I am not stuck here," Alex shook his head. "And I am not some character from another universe…why does that name sound familiar?"

"Because he's a cartoon character in his world," Ethan said with a surety in his voice that Alex had never heard from anyone before. "Everyone here is from a fiction universe. They exist, just not in our world. Well, now they do."

"Ethan!"

Alex and the boy looked up to see a man in a nice suit run up to them. He looked like a businessman of some sort, but the way his hair stuck up wildly told Alex that he must have just wanted to wear the suit. He stooped down next to the boy and cast a wary glance at Alex. When he spoke, Alex could detect a British accent.

"Ethan, where have you been?" the man asked. He cast a second glance to Alex. "You didn't show up for class today, I was worried."

"Sorry, Mister Smith," Ethan told him. "I…well, I had a field trip with Miss Field's class today."

"Don't lie to him," Alex crossed his arms. "This bloke hitched a ride on some buses and found me up in Manhattan."

"He's my father," Ethan interjected.

"Oh," Mister Smith raised his eyebrows. He stood up and looked Alex up and down. Running his hand through his hair, he glanced away for a moment. "Well, that's…that's rather interesting. Lovely to meet you, ah…?"

"Storm, Alex Storm," he said, reaching a hand out. The two men shook in greeting.

"John Smith," the other replied with a grin.

"Could you direct me to Ethan's home?" Alex lifted an eyebrow. "He won't tell me, and I really need to get back to Manhattan."

"Of course!" John nodded. He turned and pointed down the street. "Mayor's mansion is in the center of the town, you can't miss it. I'm sure he's worried sick about where the boy's been all day."

"Thank you," Alex dipped his head. He and Ethan got back into the car and he drove off in the direction of the man indicated. "So, he's one of your teachers? Who do you think he is, then?"

"The Doctor," Ethan hummed.

"No, I didn't ask you what you thought his profession was," Alex rolled his eyes. "I asked _who_ he was."

"That's what he's called," Ethan narrowed his eyes. He pulled out a small DVD from his coat pocket and waved it around at Alex. "He's from a British television show. Even though he's a teacher in Fandom, he's really the Doctor in his reality."

"Doctor who?" Alex blinked.

"Just the Doctor," Ethan jutted his chin out, as if it were obvious. He looked up and noticed that they had pulled up outside of the mayor's mansion. "You don't have to-"

"Yes, I do," Alex frowned. "Now let's go."

* * *

**Already attributed, but ****_Phineas and Ferb_**** and ****_Doctor Who_**** have been identified. **


	2. The Mission

**Back for a second chapter. I'm going to try to do this in this fashion: present, flashback, present, flashback, etc. I feel like it will end up getting messed up at some point...so bear with me if it does. It should be obvious what is flashback and what isn't, though, if I do screw it up. -AJ**

* * *

Snoring could be heard coming from the kitchen, a snoring that belonged to only one pet and secret agent. Perry was taking a mid-morning nap, completely unaware of the world around him. It was lovely, beautiful sleep. Well, it was until his wristwatch started beeping loudly. He woke with a start and blinked down at the device. It was flashing that he had an emergency meeting down in his lair. Looking around to see if any of his host family was in sight, Perry slipped on his fedora and quickly jumped into a cabinet.

On the side, he felt around until he'd pressed a hidden button. The bottom of the cabinet fell out, and the platypus found himself, and a few dishes, clattering down a tube. They landed in a bright red chair. Plates began to crash and shatter around him. Perry cringed. He really should have used a different lair entrance. His superior, Major Monogram, was on the monitor above him frowning.

"Hmm, I suppose we'll have to replace those…" he grumbled. He paused for a moment and then looked somewhere off screen. "Carl, make a note to replace some of the Flynn-Fletcher family's dinnerware."

"Right on it, sir!" came the intern's nasally voice. Perry crossed his arms, waiting for the message that had been so important as to wake him up. The major cleared his throat and picked up a piece of paper in front of him.

"Agent P," he said, "we have received intel that Doctor Doofenshmirtz is up to no good again. He has apparently created an inator that will change the very fabric of the universe. Team CR reports that his inator has the ability to strip everyone of their happiness and place him in charge. As the effects are said to, uh, affect everyone, including animals, our top scientists have developed a pill that should counter the…effects."

Perry blinked. From his desk, a small capsule appeared from a delivery tube. He removed it and took out the pill.

"Sir, don't you think you should tell him of possible side…effects?" Carl said, coming out onto the camera with a cheesy grin. The major gave him a grim look.

"That's not funny, Carl, that's just ridiculous!" the man scoffed.

"Of course, sir," Carl rolled his eyes and walked away.

"He is right, of course," the major sighed. "Possible side effects could include, but are not limited to, nausea, hives, anaphylactic reactions, diarrhea, internal bleeding, dryness of the mouth and/or throat, sensitivity to light, asthma, swelling, and/or loss of hair."

Frowning, Perry removed the pill. He didn't want to take something that could possibly give him any of the mentioned side effects, but he was certain that his superior wouldn't take no as an answer.

"We understand that this is a lot," the major continued, "but this pill is the only chance we've got to make sure someone can save anyone if he has a chance to fire that inator. The chemicals in the pill are meant to act as a protection against the radiation of the rays put out by the inator. They should inevitably leave you with full knowledge of yourself and the situation, thus unaffected by this machine. Your job is to either destroy the machine before it is activated or, if that plan fails, to counter the effects through…true love's kiss? Carl, who wrote these notes?!"

"Director Diphthong, sir," Carl replied casually.

"But he's from accounting!" the major blinked.

"I know that, sir," Carl said. "Our top scientists relayed the information to him. He took down the notes and gave it to me, who gave it to you. Apparently true love's kiss is what will break this inator's curse."

"Oh, now we're calling it a _curse_?" Monogram scoffed. "This is just insane. Anyways, I guess you have to find a true love and kiss her. I know that's not particularly scientific…or logical…but these are the facts and we're sticking to them. Hopefully, you can just destroy the inator before any of this happens. So swallow that pill and stop Doof!"

Saluting, Perry slipped the pill into his mouth, swallowed, and dashed off on his jetpack. He flew out of the lair and into the skies above the Tri-State Area. The air whipped through his fur. It was a quick fly over to his nemesis' penthouse. He maneuvered his flight to land on the terrace. Once he felt his first foot hit the floor, he rolled his body forward, allowing the jetpack to fly away, and flipped up in a fighting stance.

"Ah, Perry the platypus," greeted the Drusselsteinian man. He stepped out into the area. "How timely of you. And by timely I mean…uh…oh…that one doesn't work. Whatever, be trapped!"

Doofenshmirtz pressed a button on a small remote in his hand. Two circular compartments closed around Perry's body, pumped syrup onto him, and then left as quickly as they'd come. Grimacing, Perry lifted his arms and tried to shake some of the sugary substance off. This wasn't so much a trap as it was just gross and childish. He gave his nemesis an annoyed glare.

"Yes, I realize it's lame," the scientist sighed. He shrugged. "See, I got this coupon for as much syrup as I could imagine. I didn't realize that I would actually get that much syrup, so I'm finding clever ways to put it to use. Anyways, it's time to tell you all about my evil plan!

"It occurred to me just the other day that no matter what I try, I can never successfully take over the Tri-State Area by force or by over-complicated schemes. So, I decided to think outside of the box. What if I could simply change how people thought? If I change everyone's mind to think that I am the mayor, then who am I to argue being the ruler? Thus, I give you, the 'Change-It-For-My-Better-Inator'!"

Doofenshmirtz pressed another button, which made his newest invention rise dramatically out of the floor. It was rather large, and it had three settings. One read 'Tri-State Area,' the next 'The World,' and the last 'Every Known Universe.' Perry had to resist the urge to roll his eyes. The man's dials were always overdone. He tried to remove himself from the sticky mess he was in, but was aggravated to find that it worked better than he had originally thought. He chattered in annoyance.

"Ah, yes, that silly little chirping noise you make," Doofenshmirtz chuckled. "I wish I knew what that meant. Are you irritated with me, Perry the platypus? Is that irritation? Or are you insulting me? My plan will work, you'll see! It's not as complicated as you think. The theory is simple. Everyone forgets who they are, but they remember that I am their leader. It's…a bit cruel to families and such, but I'm evil. I don't care. At least I can finally get that—"

He was cut short when Perry hit him in the chest and knocked him back against the inator. The dial was switched to 'Every Known Universe,' but neither agent nor evil scientist seemed to notice. They continued to punch and jab at one another.

"You're making a real mess, Perry the platypus!" Doof stopped suddenly, waving around his penthouse. "You see this? Syrup everywhere! This is all your fault, why would you do this to me? I have to clean up enough from your little visits as it is!"

Perry narrowed his eyes, folded his sticky arms, and chattered again. His nemesis huffed and rolled his eyes.

"Oh, yes, what did _that_ mean, hmm?" the man crossed his own arms. "Are you saying that if I had never decided to use that excess syrup as a trap, it never would have been spilled all over you and it wouldn't currently be covering my floors and walls? Is that it, hmm? Well, I've got words for you, too—"

His sentence was cut off when Perry planted a fist in his jaw. They rolled about on the floor, like young boys fighting over a stick. Now the evil scientist was getting syrup all over himself. He tried to toss Perry off, but the platypus was unwillingly stuck to him.

"Don't try to blame this one on me, Perry the platypus!" Doofenshmirtz said, lifting his arm and watching the platypus struggle to pull himself off of the scientist's arms. Waving his arm around, he ended up backing into the 'Change-It-For-My-Better-Inator.' In doing so, he hit the button that started it up. He looked over his shoulder and noticed the dial. "Every known universe? Wow…I don't remember adding that button. I guess I can't argue with controlling _everyone_…"

Panic crossed Perry's face. The platypus reached for the self-destruct button that he knew was present on the machine. Smiling, Doofenshmirtz held his arm away from the machine so that Perry was flailing about wildly to try and reach the inator. The evil man laughed at seeing the agent's struggle.

"In a matter of seconds, Perry the platypus," Doofenshmirtz grinned, "you won't know anything but me as your ruler and that it's perfectly okay!"

The man burst out in evil laughter. Perry yanked his arm, ripping the sleeve of the evil scientist. He fell to the ground. Pulling the fabric off of his syrup-covered arm, he looked up at the rattling machine. Perry ran for it, but was knocked back by the blast of energy it put out. He could hear Doofenshmirtz's maniacal laughter slow down and start to echo. Time seemed to slow down.

"Get ready to bow to your new ruler, Perry the platypus!" the man cried loudly. "Mayor Doofenshmirtz is here to stay!"

Everything suddenly stopped…

* * *

He opened his eyes and gasped, finding that he was cold. The boy of six years old sat up quickly and rubbed his bare arms. Looking down at himself, he was, for some reason, embarrassed to discover that he was wearing absolutely nothing. He surveyed his surroundings. Trees towered above him, reaching up into a night sky. Snow was falling around him.

The boy stood up, shivering and rubbing his arms. He couldn't remember where he'd come from nor who he was. As to where he was and how he'd gotten there, completely naked, was beyond him. He knew that if he didn't find help soon, though, he would freeze to death.

He walked slowly through the woods. Desperately he wanted to cry something out, but he couldn't bring himself to form words. Had he ever spoken before? Speaking was weird, he found himself thinking. If he had spoken before, he couldn't see why. There was no need to speak to the trees, anyways. Another shiver shook his bare body. He tripped over a root sticking out of the ground and fell face-first into the snow once more.

Picking himself up, he looked at his ankle. He went to stand and let out a sharp yelp of pain. Crying a bit, he knew then that he'd twisted the appendage. But he had to keep going. It was his only chance for survival. He had to get out of these cold woods and he had to find shelter. But who would take in a nobody?

* * *

**If you get confused, please do remember that some things just won't instantly make sense.**


	3. Mayor Von Schmidt

**Here's the next chapter! -AJ**

* * *

When Alex stepped out of the car, he gazed up at the mayor's mansion with a grim expression on his face. He hoped that this man would be understanding and not pin Ethan's absence on him. Even if he was the kid's legal father, he had no rights to him now. The boy slipped out of the car and reluctantly followed Alex up the sidewalk. He stopped and crossed his arms.

"Don't make me go back!" he exclaimed. Alex sighed and crouched down to be on the kid's level. He looked into the boy's blue eyes and frowned.

"Look, mate, your father is in there and he's probably worried that you've been gone so long," Alex said slowly. Ethan didn't look convinced.

"He's not my father!" he returned forcefully. "_You're_ my father! I know you don't remember, but you are! The mayor is only interested in controlling everyone around him, he doesn't love me!"

"Nonsense," Alex knit his brow. The door to the mansion opened up and a few persons ran out. One, who was out before the others, ran over quickly to the boy and looked between Ethan and Alex with worry. Alex assumed this man to be the mayor. He had a prominent chin, dark blue eyes, and a mop of dark brown hair on his head. His eyebrows were thick and black. A noir suit made him look more official than his hairdo.

"Ethan!" he exclaimed. Alex noted the Germanic accent. He stood up and watched as the mayor stooped over and hugged the boy. It was the sort of hug that seemed to belong more between friends than between a father and a son. When they parted, the mayor cast a concerned glance at Alex before returning his gaze to Ethan. "You had me worried sick! Where were you?"

"Manhattan," Alex said. He cleared his throat and placed his hands in his pockets. The mayor stood up and gave the man a hard glare. "I gave him a lift home. No thanks to his, ah, bad directions."

"What were you doing, Ethan?" the mayor frowned.

"I found my dad," the boy smiled up at Alex. Looking away, the F.B.I. agent bit his tongue to keep from responding. The mayor seemed thrown off by this. "He's my blood father, trust me. Run our D.N.A. through one of those tests and you'll see I'm not crazy."

"Ethan, I need you to go up to your room and get ready for bed, okay?" the mayor ordered. Alex watched as Ethan fought making a face, but ran into the mansion to do as his adoptive father had instructed. Turning on his heel to leave, Alex was stopped by a hand on his shoulder. "What's your name again?"

"Alex," he said, facing the mayor once more. The man studied him. "Alex Storm, F.B.I."

"Heinz Von Schmidt," the other man dipped his head a little. Alex resisted expressing confusion. Heinz was a German name to his knowledge. The last name didn't match up. He shook it off. This was the twenty-first century. Lots of names didn't match up. He bit his lip. "Do step inside, Mr. Storm."

He could spare a few moments. Tomorrow was Saturday; he'd be fine driving out late. Nodding, he walked into the mayor's mansion and took a look around. The inside was very purple. Purple walls, purple furniture, purple tiles. It didn't quite appeal to Alex's tastes, but he found himself deeming purple to be the 'right color' for Mayor Von Schmidt. The mayor dismissed the people he had been with and came into the house, shutting the door behind him.

"Do you fancy almond brittle, Mr. Storm?" the mayor asked.

"Almond brittle?" Alex lifted an eyebrow. "Ah, no thanks, I'm not hungry."

"A drink, then?" Heinz offered, walking over to his kitchen and opening the fridge. "Water, juice, soda, something?"

"Got anything strong?" Alex bit his lip. The mayor offered him a bottle of Budweiser. Alex nodded in thanks and took the drink.

"Rough night?" Heinz tilted his head.

"Very," Alex sighed. This wasn't that strong, but if that was all the man had, he'd take it. He popped the top off of his beer and took a drag. Alex didn't normally drink alcohol before he drove back home after a long, tiring trip. It was the stress from Ethan's appearance and the issue of discovering he was a biological father. Heinz poured himself a glass of water and sat down in a chair in his living area. Alex sat down on the couch to be polite. "Sorry to bother you so late at night."

"Oh, no, it's not a problem!" Heinz insisted. He took a sip of water and hummed. "Thanks for bringing Ethan back home."

"No problem," Alex bit his lip. He waited a moment before downing another large gulp of beer. "Thanks for the drink."

"Sure thing," Heinz smiled. "It's hard to balance being a parent and being the mayor, but I manage. I feel like he's trying to push me out as of late…I don't know what I did. And now he's run off to find his biological parents just to make some sort of point? Trust me, you're not the only stressed one."

"Does it have to do with his little idea about fictitious characters being real?" Alex asked.

"What?" Heinz blinked.

"You don't know?" Alex frowned. Heinz sat still, clearly confused. "He thinks everyone here is from some other world that appears as fiction in this world. Like, he told me that his schoolteacher is a bloke from a B.B.C. television series. Active imagination, much?"

"I have never heard this before," Heinz said. He sounded more serious than he had a moment before. Something had changed in his demeanor. Alex took a cautious sip of the drink. The cold liquid nearly had to be forced down his throat. He knew when a person felt as if they were a suspect. "I noticed you like fedoras."

"And how would you know that?" Alex jutted his chin out a little.

"You have one in the back seat of your car," Heinz stated flatly. He stood up. Alex did the same. "Interesting attire for an F.B.I. agent, don't you think?"

"It's a preference," Alex narrowed his eyes, "not work attire. If you don't mind, I think I should get going."

"Yes, perhaps you should," Heinz agreed. "Just remember something, Mr. Storm, and I'm going to make myself very clear."

"Oh?" Alex raised his brow a little.

"Ethan isn't your son," Heinz said quietly. "He's mine. And you had better remember that. I know you think that you don't want to be involved, but something tells me you want to be and you're hiding it from yourself. Don't try anything."

"I see," Alex nodded. He turned and walked out of the mayor's mansion without another word. The man wanted war. Alex fought to keep his interests out of it. Heinz had been right. Ever since he had learned that Ethan was indeed his son, he had been tempted to go with what the kid had wanted and take him in as his own. He slipped into his car and jammed the keys into the ignition. He set the beer down in a cup holder and hoped that no cops would drive past him. "Stop this, you're not a father—the mayor is his father, not you! You're an F.B.I. agent, you have no friends, you have no family, and you're just a man with a job that has nothing to do with anything you can find in this town!"

The car's engine roared to life. He steered the vehicle back out into the road and followed the streets for a ways. Just outside of this town's limits, he had woken up naked in the forest. He had no memory of anything prior to that. Sighing, he examined the lonely streets. There were a few people roaming about streets, but for the most part, Fandom seemed to be a town devoid of any night life.

"Typical," Alex breathed. He pressed his foot a little harder into the gas pedal and drove towards the main exit. He had a nice, warm bed waiting for him—or so he told himself. It was cold and empty. If only he had kept up contact with Leah…he shook his head. No, not Leah.

Leah had been his girlfriend a while back. Ten years, was it? They had met at school and Alex was sure that they would get married. She was a beautiful girl that loved the world and saw everything beautiful in it. Most importantly, she had loved him with an undying passion. She didn't care that he was an orphan. She didn't care that he wanted to fight crime for a living. She didn't care that he was enigmatic. All that mattered to her was that they stayed together.

Alex found it odd that Ethan had known about her. After all, the boy was claiming that he and Leah were his real parents. It was possible. They had been sexually involved with one another. He assumed that Leah would have told him, though, even with their unexpected and sudden break-up. He couldn't deny how much of Leah he saw in Ethan, though.

"Think about something else, Alex, think about something else," he told himself, gripping the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles went white. The memory was painful. Out of nowhere, Leah had come to him, with her cheeks stained with fresh tears, telling him that it was impossible for them to ever be together. Just like that, she was gone. No explanation. Nothing. He assumed that it had been her parents who'd made her leave him.

The presence of a baby made that make even more sense. If Ethan was telling the truth, then Leah had most likely been forced by her parents to leave Alex because he'd gotten her pregnant. She had been acting funny. Her parents were very uptight. Pain throbbed in his heart. When she'd needed him most, she'd been forced to shove him out.

"God, Alex, you're only making it worse!" he exclaimed. He slammed one fist onto the dashboard and knocked a few papers off of it and onto the floor. Glancing down, he noticed that those papers had a child's handwriting on them. He could make out the word "platypus" in that glance. Biting his lip, Alex set his jaw. "That sneaky little—"

His words were caught in his throat. The headlights of the car fell on a person crossing the road at the border of Fandom. Alex pressed his foot into the brake. The wheels hit a puddle on the road and sent the car into the ditch. The air bags deployed, pressing Alex back into his seat. He was sure that the impact had broken his nose. It had all happened so fast. Why, he'd barely been aware of it happening. He tried to focus his mind on something. Outside, he could hear someone talking.

"Sir, are you alright?" came the voice. It sounded familiar. Kind of like that teacher of Ethan's he had met just a while ago. John Smith, was it? Alex tried to turn his head, but his head screamed in pain. He blinked. "Mr. Storm? Is that you? I'm calling nine-one-one, stay conscious, please!"

Alex found himself nodding. More pain throbbed in his skull. He reached out his hand and clutched the papers left on the dash. He had to return Ethan's scribbles before it looked like he was trying to keep contact with the boy. Angering Heinz wasn't on his list of things to do. He dragged the papers forward…and then he blacked out.

* * *

**Yes, do almost run someone over. Hmm.**


End file.
